Saturday, March 20, 2010

Irish Elitest

Dearest Luke--

I love that you're Irish. I love that you love being Irish. I love all of your extroverted in-your-face Irishness. I think it's cute. It was darling when you wore your Kiss Me, I'm Irish t-shirt on Wednesday to celebrate St Patty's (let's face it, it's better than you getting hammered on green beer at your local pub and waking up in the front yard with only one shoe on, a black marker moustache on your upper lip, and a tattoo on your bee-hind that notes "Mama says I'm special" while you wonder why the neighborhood stray cat is purring and licking your teeth, right? The voice of experience says, yes.)

HOWEVER, here's a word to the wise, my dear.

When you wear this t-shirt and go Ella's classroom, you've gotta expect that someone's gonna take you up on your offer. Like say, the teacher. The teacher that you might have in a couple years when you go to Kindergarten. The teacher that says "Aw cute...gimme a kiss." You probably shouldn't shove your hand in her face, ask her if she's Irish, then say "I don't want teacher kisses...I only want Irish ones."

Let's think ahead, Son.
Mommy likes scholarships. The road to scholarships start when you're in Kindergarten. She's a harmless old lady...just take one for the team next time, mmmk?



Heidi said...

this cracked me up! your blog is entertaining in general, but i really liked this one:)

Anonymous said...

I agree! This is funny!