Friday, February 22, 2013

This is what 13 years of marriage does to you

Recently, Aron and I had a date night at an improv place.  During the performance, they asked for couples to volunteer to come forward and answer questions about their relationship so they could do an improv skit about them.  I tried to get Aron to volunteer but he wouldn't (surprise).  One of the questions they asked the couple was what is that person's best/worst quality.  Once we got back to the car, I cornered him...

You don't have to drink...but by God, it sure does help.

So since you wouldn't go up front and answer the questions, let's play it here in the car.  Mm-k? 
Ok, good, let's start.  What's my most annoying quality?
That you wait until the last minute to get ready when we're trying to go somewhere.
Really?  I don't think that's the *most* annoying quality I have.
Yeah.  I have way worse stuff that I do constantly that *has* to be grating to your nerves.
Are you sure it's not my waking you up in the middle of the night to investigate things that go bump in the night?
Like that time I was convinced there was a squirrel living in our attic that was running around up there and working out just so it could be athletic enough to jump on my head the second I opened the attic door?
How about when I offered you $5 if you would go and buy some chips and dip for me at the store?
Not even when I told you I didn't have $5 in cash money but that I would give you a check when you got back?
What about when I told you I had recently discovered on Rachael Ray that it tastes good to put cheese in rice and that it wasn't just a expression when you're mad like "Cheese and rice!!"
What about when I told you that if you didn't stop using so damn much gel on your hair I would make you put a towel on the head rest of my car because you were gumming it up?  That's gotta be annoying to be bossed around like that, right?
What about when I talk thru your favorite TV shows about the cute things the cat did today while you were at work?
What about when you invite people over that I don't want to be around and I make you go in the kitchen and do shots with me before they come? 
No. Maker's Mark is tasty.
What about when I do things like this?  Where I ask you 10,000 questions and make you answer them?  That's gotta be annoying.
Yes, it's the *most* annoying like you were wrong before in your initial answer or yes, it's annoying.
Grrrrr....ok, ask me what the most annoying thing about you is.
You're such a jerk.
Is it time for the shots yet?

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