Thefts, lies, and the cable guy

Ok, so I totally got blackmailed by the cable guy. Last Monday, the kids and I were hanging out at home when the doorbell rang. Despite the fact that I let my hair airdry and had no makeup on, I answered the door. I opened the door and saw a big, unfamiliar guy standing there. He introduced himself as Tim from the cable company (the company shall remain nameless). He said that he had my name down on a list of people that he believed to be getting additional channels such as Noggin and the Spanish channel for free. He wanted to know if we had been viewing any channels beyond the 26 channels that we had been paying for. I hesitated because I wasn't sure what to say. Do I go with "No, I don't know what you're talking about" or "Really?? Those aren't channels I've been paying for?" or "It was your error, you losers, and I'm not paying for your mistake."

What to do...what to do...

Before I could decide my approach, Mr Cable Guy felt the need to point out that he could see my children through the crack of my front door and that they watching Noggin aka one of the alleged extra free channels. Crap. Busted. At that point, I decided to go with humor and said "Ok, you busted me." He then offered to let me upgrade my basic cable to standard cable which would be like 75 channels including Noggin, the Disney Channel, and Nick Jr at a reduced rate. I asked what would happen if I didn't. He said he could not guarantee the safe return of my Noggin.

WHAT?! You could take the Noggin away from these two??

I told him "I think I'm being blackmailed." He said "Blackmails a harsh term but again, I cannot guarantee the safe return of Noggin.

So now I've got 10, 000 extra channels on my TV just so the kids can have their precious Noggin.

Damn you, cable guy.

Here's Luke spelling his name to the YMCA. Yeah, it's corny but it works. Here are the words if you want to sing along

L-U-K-E! L-U-K-EEEEE!

That spells Luke, yeah it does!

I love to spell my na-me!