Do you ever wonder how someone would describe you to someone else? I work in a large building with quite a few people (although, judging by the amount of empty cubicles there are quite a few less of us there than in the past) and sometimes my friend will tell me something about someone which involves a description of what they look like or major personality characteristics that might distinguish them from someone else.
So, if you're ever confused about who I am, feel free to consult this list (*clears throat and read off paper*):
- I like funny words like Texarkana (Yes, this is a real place. Click the link). They make me laugh.
- I use old fashioned expressions and different accents in an attempt to make people laugh. Also, when using said expressions and accents, I tend to gesture wildly like I'm drowning. Steer clear of my propellers if you know what's good for you. I dance sometimes, too, to get my point across. I'm like Michigan J Frog on steroids.
- I have a hard time rolling my R's. I started being able to do it while singing along to (usually with some sort of accent in tow) to Red Hot Chili Peppers song "Give It Away".
- When I drive home from work on Fridays, I listen to NPR but if you ever tell Aron this I will flat out deny it. I certainly don't listen to this guy on a regular basis. There's no way you can prove that the first time I heard him, I thought it was a play on this fella.
- If you drive a 4 door Jeep, I may glare at you. It's not you...it's me. They just weird me out. THEY'RE NOT MEANT TO HAVE MORE THAN 2 DOORS. They're not really meant to be driven by anyone but frat boys in the 90's either. Sorry.
- Sometimes, I tell Aron that I'm running errands after work. Sometimes, my version of "running errands" is actually just sitting in Starbucks with a trashy magazine sipping on some hot green tea.
- I'm easily freaked out by politicians. I'm not sure which ones scare me the most: the ones who actually believe what they're saying or the ones that have Ken doll hair, a creepy smile, and that full-on artifical pose (typically a thumbs up or the index finger point that somehow manages to coerce the middle finger into joining it). It's a toss up, I guess *shrugs shoulders*.
- I'd like to make my employers pay for my botox. It's the least they could do--they can't blame it all on Aron.
- I like it when people can't quite tell if I'm joking or serious. It makes all of my personalities giggle a little.
That's all I can think of for now. You want to know the best part? Not all of these are true.