Dude, my Mom is gonna be pissed it's Mother's Day

She's going to be mad because she has missed many occasions this spring season while she's been in the hospital. I saw her last night and told her I would not be visitng the following day for Mother's Day (bad kid, I know). I'm not even sure she realized it was going to be Mother's Day because you lose the concept of days/time in the hospital very quickly.
Here's a little recap for you, Mom, in no particular order:

~Easter. You didn't realize it had passed for a long time probably because you were sedated through it (but that's no excuse, Mom!)
~You didn't see the opening of the season for the Braves on TBS (viewing the Braves on TBS is a must for her in the spring/summer)
~Luke graduated from Monday School. His first major accomplishment as a 5 year old.
~Myles had a program at his elementary school.
~All this rain! Who am I kidding? You're lucky to have missed it all.
~Aron and I bought a new house. We had just started the process of getting everything together for the purchase when you went in the hospital. So far, there's been wallpaper torn down (Yes, yes, everyone is invited over to help us with this gloriously fun task. Please, no pushing or shoving to get in the door. There's room for everyone), carpet ripped out, and sub-flooring pulled up.
~Jeff was called by Archie Griffin to ask if he wants to be on a board at OSU. In Jeff's cell, Archie's cell number is now alphabetically flanked by Aron and me (Annie, Archie, Aron). He showed me Archie's number in a moment of showing off. Too bad for Jeff, I have a photographic memory...let the prank calls begin... I know you would want it that way, Ma.
~Ella started softball. First scrimmage is Tuesday. (As a side note, for those interested, I will get you a list of dates of her games.)
~Kirstie Alley fell on Dancing With the Stars. You would've laughed your butt off at this one because we all know you can't stand Kirstie.
~Chase turned three! The little guy's practically a big guy now.
~Dad's started texting. That's right. The man now has his own texting plan and he's not afraid to use it. Be afraid, Ma. Be very afraid.
~Your bills have started getting paid online, Mom, and there's nothing you can do to stop it. Long gone is your weird system of timing bills being sent out a set number of days before it is due. Oh and I'm working on getting Dad to obtain an ATM. That's right, Mom. AN ATM CARD. Deal with it, baby.