How do I love thee...let me count the ways...

Aron and I have been together a long time...about 18 or so years total for those of you keeping track. We even just celebrated a wedding anniversary recently. As awesome as I keep telling him that I am, some days I don't think he buys it. I say I'm "quirky/fun." He says........................otherwise. I say he just doesn't recognize my perks since he's been around me too long.

• You know, perks like this blog.




• Or like the fact that I produce beautiful children.




• Or that I remind him to stop working around the house in his $80 a pair Banana Republic jeans (not that I've ever nagged, of course). That's just being helpful.




• Only sometimes do I fold the laundry inside out because I'm too lazy to turn it the correct way




• And yeah, I hang things on the hangers inside out, too, but not like frequently (frequently as defined as less than 2/3 but more than 1/3 of the time) or anything.




• Yes, there is the Sock Basket but he agreed to that a long, long time ago. It's not my fault that he didn't keep up his end of the deal as agreed on January 1, 2006.




• There is that one-sided love affair between The Oak Ridge Boys and me but I blame that on my aunt who bought the Elvira record for me in 1981 (the B side was Ozark Mountain Jubilee for those of you who are curious). That's endearing and certainly not "weird" or outside the range of normal.




• And while we're at it, I like The Gambler, too. Don't judge me--only God judges me and I choose to believe he likes a little Kenny from time to time, too.




• But back to topic.




• What was I talking about again?




• Oh yeah, I like to cook. This makes him happy.




• Yeah, he did think I was trying to kill him that one time with that really bad chicken dish but it wasn't on purpose. Even Michael Symon has a bad day every once in a while, right?




• Now that you mention it, I do make Hamburger Helper every once in a while but I'm sure it's because the kids like it not because it makes him want to scrape his taste buds off his tongue with a knife. Certainly not because he's made me mad in some way and I'm just getting back at him. Not everything's about you, you freakin narcissist.




• I do nice things like hide food in his car so that he's not such a crabby a-hole when he gets home in the evening. Think about it, finding a previously unknown candy bar in your glove box is kinda like finding a $20 in your jeans when you do laundry. I don't want to say it's like winning the lottery but it's pretty great, right?




• Back to the perks: I appreciate the little things in life. Like the fact that all the money I find in the laundry goes into my pocket and no one else's. I assume it's a tip for all the great work I do (see also folding the laundry inside out, hanging them inside out, and not matching the socks for nearly 6 years) You don't get that kind of service at Swan Cleaners, thankyouverymuch).




• I'm funny




• Some days I'm funnier than others but most days I can categorize myself as funny. Like how I've labeled my in-basket at work "Amazing Anna." When my supervisor asked what the deal with the label was, I was truthful; it's a daily affirmation that I'm good enough...I'm smart enough...and doggone it...people like me. " Sure, my supervisor wasn't sure if I was serious or joking but I told him I would like it incorporated into my next eval. I left the details of how to best accomplish this up to him.

I think these are highlights of the fun that is me. I'm sure there are others but we'll stop here for tonight.

Alternate music-based titles for this post that I considered:

Your love is like bad medicine
Gives you hell
I said what about Breakfast at Tiffany's?
Man Eater
She Hates Me (lalalala)
Not Gonna Write You a Love Song (cause you asked for it)
Going off the rail on this crazy train